What Will You Put on the Alter?

It’s common to hear people say, “That will cost an arm and a leg.” Or “I’d give my right arm for that.” In 2003 Aron Ralston literally gave his right arm in order to achieve what he wanted. In his case what he wanted was simply to live and start a family. While hiking alone through Canyonlands National Park in Utah, Ralston suddenly found himself trapped when an 800 lb boulder became dislodged and crushed his hand and forearm, pinning him against the canyon wall. He spent the next 127 hours trying to chip away the rock and free himself with nothing but a cheap multitool. He rationed his very limited supply of food and water in an attempt to stay alive as long as possible. I’m sure he spent a lot of time in those days evaluating what he had to live for. And then after being stuck there for over 100 hours, he saw a vision of himself and his future son, and in that moment he knew exactly what he had to live for.

It was then that he decided he was willing to do the unthinkable in order to realize that vision. Aron’s desire to have a family became stronger than his desire to not cut off his own arm. Using his dull multi tool he began making exploratory cuts into his own forearm only to realize that he would not be able to cut through his bones. So he used the leverage of his pinned arm and snapped his radius and his ulna. With both bones in his forearm broken, he went about cutting through his own skin, muscle and nerves until he was free. After freeing himself he started the 8 mile hike back to his car and civilization. He managed to rappel down a 65 foot sheer wall, before he came across some hikers who rushed to alert authorities. By the time rescuers picked him up he had lost 40 pounds and 25% of his blood volume.

Throughout history all kinds of cultures and religions have offered sacrifices in order to get something they wanted. The idea was that if they offered a worthy sacrifice to their god(s), then the deity would bless them with the things they wanted. They understood that the greater the sacrifice, the greater the reward. In The Old Testament Abraham was asked to sacrifice to sacrifice his own son on the altar. We know that The Lord didn’t allow him to go through with the sacrifice, but Abraham left Mount Moriah with the knowledge that he was willing to put anything on the altar in order to please God. Aron Ralston quite literally put his own arm on the altar in order to achieve the life he wanted.

Ralph Waldo Emmerson once said, “Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices”
Whether he knew it or not, Ralph touched on an eternal principal here. He understood that every desire we have requires some kind of sacrifice. While being well mannered doesn’t require cutting of your own arm, it does require a certain amount of effort.

When I was a young boy I was out at the store with your grandma and grandpa one afternoon when I saw something I really wanted. It was some sort of computer game and I knew I had to have it. So I took my find over to where my parents were and asked if they would buy it for me. It wasn’t very expensive so I totally expected them to tell me to drop it in the cart. Instead Grandpa Rowe said, “What are you willing to do for it?” As a young boy, I was kind of stunned and didn’t know how to respond. He went on, “We can’t just give it to you. You have to do something to earn it. So what do you think you could do for us to earn that game?” A couple thoughts ran through my head. First, what on earth could a young boy like me do to earn that computer game. And second, do I really want the game bad enough to earn it? It was one thing when I thought my parents would just buy it for me, but now there was going to be work involved.

Finally we came to the agreement that I would go home and mow the lawn and then I could have the game. At this time in my life I already mowed the lawn on a regular basis, and probably would have mowed the lawn that day no matter what. But my dad helped me understand a valuable lesson. Everything we want in this life requires some sort of sacrifice. Even if Grandpa had just bought me the game, he still had to sacrifice and go to work every day in order to earn the money necessary to buy the game.

Throughout your life there will be many things that you want, they may not be as trivial as my example or as dramatic as Aron’s example. But every time you set your sights on something or make a goal, you need to ask yourself, “What am I willing to put on the altar in order to achieve that goal?” If you are not ready to sacrifice enough, then there’s no sense making that goal. But I promise you that if you put enough on the altar you can achieve any goal you set in your life.

Leap of Faith

Dear Son,

As you know, I grew up and spent the first 25 years of my life in The Great Northwest. I have always loved spending time in the mountains and in the evergreen forests up in that area of the country, and as of yet, I haven’t found a better way to enjoy the mountains than on a snowboard. When I first learned to snowboard in high school, I learned some very painful lessons about how to stay upright and how to fall without hurting myself too bad. I’d be lying if I told you I was ever a great snowboarder, but over time I learned how to make it from the top of the mountain to the bottom without getting hurt and without totally falling behind my friends.

I also learned a few things about life while exploring various mountains and resorts with my friends. While I was in college I had a pretty tight knit group of friends that I would always go snowboarding with. Sometimes it would just be 4 or 5 of us and sometimes we would round up a bigger gang. On one trip we had about 10 guys and one girl. I’ll be honest and tell you that pretty much everyone with us was better than me, even the girl. But I didn’t mind because it made me push myself and improve.

We were having a great time until someone mentioned this great cliff they knew that we could jump off. So we all followed him down the mountain to a designated spot and then prepared to launch off of this 15-20 foot cliff. But the tricky thing about it was, that you couldn’t really see where you were going. My instructions were, “Pick up some speed, head between those two trees and don’t hesitate or you won’t clear the rocks below.” I watched all my friends disappear one by one between the two trees and into oblivion. I was seriously debating just bagging it altogether and riding around the side and forgoing the cliff, but then the girl went and I knew I had no choice.

Pretty soon, it was my turn. I knew that as soon as I started down the mountain there was no turning back. Reluctantly I aimed my board between the two trees and started moving. As I picked up speed, every part of me screamed to slow down, after all, I couldn’t even see where I was headed, I didn’t know when the ground was going to drop out from underneath me, and I had no idea where I was going to land. But the one thing I did know, was that if I hesitated and slowed down, I might not clear the jagged rocks and make it safely to the soft powder below.

So I bombed through the trees down the narrow path and before I knew it I was flying through the air for just an instant, and in the next instant I was tumbling and cart wheeling down the mountain. One of my buddies, told me later that I looked like a 2x4 bouncing down the stairs. But eventually I came to a stop and I was just fine. I even went back a second time because the video camera we had didn’t catch it the first time around.

In the years since this experience I’ve come to realize that my situation on the mountain translates into many aspects of our lives. Throughout your life you are going to have a lot of decisions to make. And the thing about decisions is, you don’t always get to choose the consequence of your decision. You can hope for a certain result, but every decision you make carries with it an unknown future. But I’ve learned that if you are going to commit to something, like riding off a cliff, you better commit 100% or you might not clear the rocks and make it to the soft powder.

In the book of Revelations in the New Testament it says, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” Some people try to make it through life being lukewarm about everything, they never really commit 100% to anyone or anything because they are afraid of the unknown. But what they don’t realize is that they are sabotaging everything they touch, and so they move from one failure to another. And each time they don’t quite clear the rocks and make it to the powder they get a little beat up and are a little more reluctant the next time around. This is no way to live.

It is my hope, and my challenge to you to be either cold or hot. Make sure you are aimed between the trees and just go for it. Don’t hesitate, because that hesitation could be disastrous. If you are going to do something, make sure you do it well, and give it 100%.

Tornado Of Fire

Dear Son,

Some of the most memorable experiences of my life came while out in the wilderness with my friends on Boy Scout trips as a teenager. Though there were always adults with us, those trips always had a Lord of the Flies feel to them. We were a bunch of young teenage boys out in the middle of nowhere with no parents for miles and miles. And from time to time we put ourselves in dangerous situations. Luckily, despite our stupidity, we always managed to make it out alive. And, I think, a little bit stronger for what we had put ourselves through.

Over the six years I spent as a Boy Scout, my friends and I had a number of close calls. But probably the most poignant of these took place between Washington State and Canada in the San Juan Islands.

For about a week we spent our days paddling sea kayaks from island to island and spent our nights building fires, cooking dinner, playing football and stealing each other’s tent poles. Some of the islands were bigger than others but each one was beautiful. It was amazing to float out there in the middle of the ocean by myself in that little kayak.

About the third or fourth night we landed in a cove of a very small island and made camp. It probably took about 25 minutes to walk around the shore of the entire thing. Our troop set up on one side and there were a few other campers scattered around other parts of the island. As soon as we got our tents set up a few of us took off to explore our new world. When we reached the far side of the island we hit the jackpot. A huge pine tree towered over us. There were no branches for the first 10 feet or so, but then very large branches shot out, intertwining with the branches of all the other trees on the island. At this point you may be asking why we were so excited about a big tree, well I’ll tell you. Sap. About four feet up from the ground the tree was dripping sap in a steady stream all the way down to the ground where it formed a pool.

Now, as any good boy scout knows, sap is a great fire starter. So of course the small group of us gathered around the puddle and lit it on fire. Flames quickly shot up out of the sap at the base of the tree. We couldn’t have hoped for a better result. Somehow the small group of us standing in a semicircle created the perfect wind conditions to turn the dancing flames into a small tornado of fire. I’m telling you it was awesome. I imagine it was similar to the pillar of fire described in Exodus, but on a much smaller scale.

We stood there mesmerized by the funnel of flames, but while we were focused on the unexpected phenomenon, other flames started working their way up the trunk of the tree. As I took notice of the rising flames, I reluctantly suggested that we should probably put it all out before it climbed too far up the tree. But one of my friends said, “No, we’ll wait until the flames get to right here.” We all agreed and continued enjoying the show.

But then all of the sudden the flames raced up the trunk of the tree until they were at eye level with us. In a matter of moments the situation got real serious, we all knew that if the flames made it up another five or six feet they would reach the branches and spread to all the other trees on the island. If we didn’t hurry and put out the fire we would be responsible for burning down the entire island. So we desperately grabbed handfuls of dirt to throw at the flames, we kicked at the tree trunk in hopes of smothering the fire. You see, we all said “We’ll put it out when the flames get right here.” But none of us really thought about HOW we would put them out. I ran down to the beach and filled up a container with water and splashed it on the tree, it slowed the flames some but after a few of us tried this repeatedly it became clear that it would not be enough to stop the fire completely.
Some terrible scenarios began running through my mind. I thought of all the damage we had caused, I thought about how much trouble we would get in and I thought how foolish we had been. Just as I was giving up all hope, one of my friends had the presence of mind to take his shirt off, soak it in the water and beat it against the tree. He had to soak the shirt and beat the fire more than once but eventually he put all the flames out and a disaster was averted. But my friend’s shirt was destroyed and we all knew how close we had come to disaster.

Throughout your life you will be tempted to play with fire. You will also be tempted to tell yourself, “I’ll wait to put the flames out until they get right there.” Many things in this life are as unpredictable and hard to control as fire. You will be tempted to cheat just enough to get ahead. You will be tempted to experiment with drugs, alcohol, pornography and other addictive activities. You might be tempted to steal just a little bit, or just tell a few lies here and there.

If you give in to temptation and try these things it will probably even seem really cool and exciting at first just like our Tornado of Fire. But I promise you, that before you know what’s going on, those flames will rage out of control and threaten to burn down your world. When we knowingly allow flames to rage in our lives it is only through making sacrifices, like my friends shirt, that we can extinguish the flames and avert disaster.

Son, I hope that this story will serve as a warning to you about the things that you choose to let into your life. When you are faced with difficult decisions, remember that there is a tree somewhere in the San Juan Islands with a charred black trunk standing as a witness of how quickly life can spiral out of your control.

The Master of Your Fate

Dear Son,

In the year 1875, an English poet named William Ernest Henley wrote an inspired poem called Invictus. He concludes the poem with these powerful words: 

“It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

It is said that Henley wrote the poem after having his foot amputated due to infection. I can only imagine the impact something like that would have on your life. You would have to relearn how to do everything. But Henley is saying that no matter what obstacle comes his way, he is still the master of his fate. I want you to know that this is a true and eternal principle.

There will be many influences in your life that would have you believe otherwise. The media, your friends, teachers, coworkers and neighbors will tell you how they think you should act. They will tell you what you can and can’t do. They will try to tell you what it means to be a man. They will tell you things like, “Everybody else is doing it.” Or “It’s the only way to get ahead.” They would have you believe that when bad things happen in your life, there is nothing you can do about it. You just need to accept your fate, and try to keep your head above water.

You need to know that those are all false ideas. They always have been, and they always will be. In his book,The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey says, “Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.”

He explains that the world wants us to believe that we are programmed a certain way and there is no way around it. People often say things like, “He made me”, “She left me know choice”, “He pushed my buttons” They think that if stimulus X happens, their only choice is response Y.

Covey explains, that this is not the case at all. Between every stimulus and response there is a very brief moment where something amazing happens. CHOICE.

He goes on to say that being Responsible or “response-able” means being able to choose your response. Son, great men act, they are not acted upon. If you always remember to choose your response, you will be happening to the world, not simply standing idly by and letting the world happen to you.

I urge you to decide today what kind of person you will be. Know where you stand. Every time you encounter stimulus X you can ask yourself, What kind of son am I? What kind of brother am I? What kind of friend am I? What kind of student am I? What kind of employee am I? What kind of man am I?

If you already know the answers to these questions, it will be easy to choose your response. Always remember that you are the master of your fate, and the captain of your soul.